Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

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Santa isn't real

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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This is not an anti joke.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops