A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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pickle sniffer

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how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

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What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

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Darude- Sandstorm

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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At least I dont have AIDS.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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