Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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shauns beautiful

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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A Sloth runs...

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops