How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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