Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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A blind man walks into a library.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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