A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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