- Anti Joke

What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

dat shoe shine tho

Baby Seal walks into a club.

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops