Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Brain fart

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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