Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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want more?

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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