Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

the economy.

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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