What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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