Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops