bite me

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

pobody's nerfect

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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