The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

race-car = rac-ecar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...