An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops