What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops