Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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What's 9+10? 19

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops