Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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