There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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24

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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