What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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