what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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