Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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