How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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