What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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