Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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