So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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