Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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