What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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What is a poop on a poopstick? A pile of poop.

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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