Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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