What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops