why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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