What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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