Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

Fox News

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

have safe sex

What is worse than torture? Not much.

A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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