Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Neither did she.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops