What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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