What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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