My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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Gustavo Andrade

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops