What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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