Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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