what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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