How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops