A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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