Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

Gustavo Andrade

Who is big and stupid My brother

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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