When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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