If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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