What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship with God.

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Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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