- Anti Joke

what did the man say when he walked into the bar? Ouch!

roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

.....'',;;::cccllllllllllllcccc:::;;,,,''...'',,'.. ..';cldkO00KXNNNNXXXKK000OOkkkkkxxxxxddoooddddddxxxxkkkkOO0XXKx:. .':ok0KXXXNXK0kxolc:;;,,,,,,,,,,,;;,,,''''''',,''.. .'lOXKd' .,lx00Oxl:,'............''''''................... ...,;;'. .oKXd. .ckKKkc'...'',:::;,'.........'',;;::::;,'..........'',;;;,'.. .';;'. 'kNKc. .:kXXk:. .. .................. .............,:c:'...;:'. .dNNx. :0NKd, .....''',,,,''.. ',...........',,,'',,::,...,,. .dNNx. .xXd. .:;'.. ..,' .;,. ...,,'';;'. ... .oNNo .0K. .;. ;' '; .'...'. .oXX: .oNO. . ,. . ..',::ccc:;,.. .. lXX: .dNX: ...... ;. 'cxOKK0OXWWWWWWWNX0kc. :KXd. .l0N0; ;d0KKKKKXK0ko:... .l0X0xc,...lXWWWWWWWWKO0Kx' ,ONKo. .lKNKl...'......'. .dXWN0kkk0NWWWWWN0o. :KN0;. .,cokXWWNNNNWNKkxONK: .,:c:. .';;;;:lk0XXx; :KN0l';ll:'. .,:lodxxkO00KXNWWWX000k. oXNx;:okKX0kdl:::;'',;coxkkd, ...'. ...'''.......',:lxKO:. oNNk,;c,'',. ...;xNNOc,. ,d0X0xc,. .dOd, ..;dOKXK00000Ox:. ..''dKO, 'KW0,:,.,:..,oxkkkdl;'. 'KK' .. .dXX0o:'....,:oOXNN0d;.'. ..,lOKd. .. ;KXl. ;XNd,; ;. l00kxoooxKXKx:..ld: ;KK' .:dkO000000Okxl;. c0; :KK; . ;XXc 'XXdc. :. .. '' 'kNNNKKKk, .,dKNO. .... .'c0NO' :X0. ,. xN0. .kNOc' ,. .00. ..''... .l0X0d;. 'dOkxo;... .;okKXK0KNXx;. .0X: ,. lNX' ,KKdl .c, .dNK, .;xXWKc. .;:coOXO,,'....... .,lx0XXOo;...oNWNXKk:.'KX; ' dNX. :XXkc'.... .dNWXl .';l0NXNKl. ,lxkkkxo' .cK0. ..;lx0XNX0xc. ,0Nx'.','.kXo ., ,KNx. cXXd,,;:, .oXWNNKo' .'.. .'.'dKk; .cooollox;.xXXl ..,cdOKXXX00NXc. 'oKWK' ;k: .l. ,0Nk. cXNx. . ,KWX0NNNXOl'. .o0Ooldk; .:c;.':lxOKKK0xo:,.. ;XX: .,lOXWWXd. . .':,.lKXd. lXNo cXWWWXooNWNXKko;'.. .lk0x; ...,:ldk0KXNNOo:,.. ,OWNOxO0KXXNWNO, ....'l0Xk, .dNK. oNWWNo.cXK;;oOXNNXK0kxdolllllooooddxk00KKKK0kdoc:c0No .'ckXWWWNXkc,;kNKl. .,kXXk, 'KXc .dNWWX;.xNk. .kNO::lodxkOXWN0OkxdlcxNKl,.. oN0'..,:ox0XNWWNNWXo. ,ONO' .o0Xk; .ONo oNWWN0xXWK, .oNKc .ONx. ;X0. .:XNKKNNWWWWNKkl;kNk. .cKXo. .ON0; .xNd cNWWWWWWWWKOkKNXxl:,'...;0Xo'.....'lXK;...',:lxk0KNWWWWNNKOd:.. lXKclON0: .xNk. .dXd ;XWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNWWNNNNNNNNNWWNNNNNNWWWWWNXKNNk;.. .dNWWXd. cXO. .xXo .ONWNWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNK0ko:'..OXo 'l0NXx, :KK, .OXc :XNk0NWXKNWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNX00NNx:'.. lXKc. 'lONN0l. .oXK: .KX; .dNKoON0;lXNkcld0NXo::cd0NNO:;,,'.. .0Xc lXXo..'l0NNKd,. .c0Nk, :XK. .xNX0NKc.cXXl ;KXl .dN0. .0No .xNXOKNXOo,. .l0Xk;. .dXk. .lKWN0d::OWK; lXXc .OX: .ONx. . .,cdk0XNXOd;. .'''....;c:'..;xKXx, .0No .:dOKNNNWNKOxkXWXo:,,;ONk;,,,,,;c0NXOxxkO0XXNXKOdc,. ..;::,...;lol;..:xKXOl. ,XX: ..';cldxkOO0KKKXXXXXXXXXXKKKKK00Okxdol:;'.. .';::,..':llc,..'lkKXkc. :NX' . '' .................. .,;:;,',;ccc;'..'lkKX0d;. lNK. .; ,lc,. ................ ..,,;;;;;;:::,....,lkKX0d:. .oN0. .'. .;ccc;,'.... ....'',;;;;;;;;;;'.. .;oOXX0d:. .dN0. .;;,.. .... ..''''''''.... .:dOKKko;. lNK' ..,;::;;,'......................... .;d0X0kc'. .xXO' .;oOK0x:. .cKKo. .,:oxkkkxk0K0xc'. .oKKkc,. .';cok0XNNNX0Oxoc,. .;d0XX0kdlc:;,,,',,,;;:clodkO0KK0Okdl:,'.. .,coxO0KXXXXXXXKK0OOxdoc:,.. ...

Whats White and sticky? Semen

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops