How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Cripples are lame.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops