Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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