What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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