Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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