So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

A man died.

A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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