What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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