Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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