What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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