how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops