Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Things to do get an A on my test win my hockey game become immortal well that escalated quickly

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -25

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops