A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

thumb_up thumb_down +3

ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops