Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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Fox News

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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