Yesterday, I was assasinated.

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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