What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops