A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops