Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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