Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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