How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

96

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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