why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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9/11 my birthday

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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13 =B you just learned something

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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i'm hard

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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