Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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meatspin.fr

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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