When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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