How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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A gay man watches football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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