So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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