What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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