What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops