Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Japanese study of the stereotypical American man: Murica: Come on come on! Japanese: Uh yes? *walks toward American* Murica: Are you okay?! Japanese: Well yes I am doi.. Murica: BUSTER WOLF *Punches Japanese which smacks into the ground critically wounded. Murican: OKAAAAAAAAAAAY! *throws dirty trucker cap at Japanese man and leaves.* BEWARE OF THE TYPICAL AMERICAN! Study 2 American man, taught Japanese Discipline: Japanese: Herrow Mr.Educated American *bows* "Japanesed Murican": *Fighting Pose* " I SHALL STAIN MY HANDS, WITH YOUR BLOOD!" *Japanese people run away* Experiment fail. BEWARE EXTREMELY OF AMERICAN MAN! Nero: Nuking Japan probably created a few controversies and wrong stereotypes... After visiting the US several times, I find these manners to be of the Texan stereotype though... Educated Murican: PREDICTABO!

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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sadf

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Maths.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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