What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops